www.huffingtonpost.com Submitted here by Lorie Frye The Author is "Amelia"

Editor's note: "Amelia" is a pseudonym chosen by the author in order to keep her family's identity anonymous.

On August 16 I learned what viral meant.

I wrote an essay about my oldest son and his love of a popular gay television character, Glee's Blaine, and how this crush led to him telling me he wanted to kiss boys, not girls. I naively posted it to a blog, thinking some fans of the show might think it was cute.

Within 24 hours it had been reposted and "liked" over 30,000 times on the blog's website. It wasn't long before messages started flooding in, other websites began posting it and people were commenting. The response was overwhelming positive. What I thought was a simple story about my kid and our family had clearly stuck a chord with a lot of people.

It also made some people uncomfortable. Of the criticisms, the most common is that my son is six years old and doesn't know anything about sex. While I fully acknowledge this may not be the end-all-and-be-all to my son's sexual orientation, I object to the idea that being gay is only about sexual acts. Our emotions and feelings, our attractions and compulsions, all contribute, not just our body parts. If my son had a crush on the star of iCarly, I doubt people would be saying he was too young to have those sexual feelings towards a girl. I think they would think it was an innocent schoolboy crush, which is exactly what it is.

Plus, for every comment I've read saying my son is too young, I have received multiple messages from adults saying "I knew when I was little, too."

It got me thinking and after awhile I started to feel like I knew this big secret that shouldn't be a secret at all: Every gay adult used to be a gay kid. It's not as if all children start off as straight until some time later when someone flips the gay switch. We are who we are from the very moment we are born.

The horrible and hate filled words of the Michele Bachmann's of the world take on a whole new level of disgusting when picturing them being screamed at a group of kindergartners and first graders. They are unnatural. They are sinners. They are going to hell. They are dirty, wrong and sick.

These people would tell my innocent little boy (who currently wants to be a fireman-ninja when he grows up) he is the biggest threat the American family... because he wants to kiss boys and not girls.

The reality is they are pounding these words of ignorance and hate into the ears and minds of gay children every day. And those children are hearing them. I know because many of those kids are now writing to me. Kids as young as 14 have sent me messages. So many are scared children, who sure as hell did not choose this for themselves, living in fear of their family finding out because they know full well what their mom and dad will say. And they tell me they wish I was their mom.

I want to keep all this talk, all these lies, all this hate, away from these kids. Of course, there is an inherent problem with that. We can't pick out the gay kids simply by looking, and behavior isn't a clear indicator (some little straight girls are tomboys, and some little gay boys love their monster trucks). The only way we can truly know someone's orientation is if they tell us, which for some doesn't happen until well into adulthood.

So the solution is obvious to me. Keep it away from all our kids. It's my responsibility as a mother, as a human being, to stand up and say "No more." No, you are not allowed to say those things in front of my children, not unless you want to deal with me. Because I will not allow any of my sons to be viciously attacked without seeing me defend them. They will never have to doubt for a second exactly where their parents stand, and never have to live in fear of who they are.

Because since August 16, I have learned that hate is the virus we all need to be worried about.

The Trevor Project is determined to end suicide among LGBTQ youth by providing life-saving and life-affirming resources including our nationwide, 24/7 crisis intervention lifeline, digital community and advocacy/educational programs that create a safe, supportive and positive environment for everyone. For more information or to talk to someone, visit their website or call 866-488-7386.

Follow Amelia on Twitter: www.twitter.com/Amelia_blogger

Editor's note: "Amelia" is a pseudonym chosen by the author in order to keep her family's identity anonymous.

On August 16 I learned what viral meant.

I wrote an essay about my oldest son and his love of a popular gay television character, Glee's Blaine, and how this crush led to him telling me he wanted to kiss boys, not girls. I naively posted it to a blog, thinking some fans of the show might think it was cute.

Within 24 hours it had been reposted and "liked" over 30,000 times on the blog's website. It wasn't long before messages started flooding in, other websites began posting it and people were commenting. The response was overwhelming positive. What I thought was a simple story about my kid and our family had clearly stuck a chord with a lot of people.

It also made some people uncomfortable. Of the criticisms, the most common is that my son is six years old and doesn't know anything about sex. While I fully acknowledge this may not be the end-all-and-be-all to my son's sexual orientation, I object to the idea that being gay is only about sexual acts. Our emotions and feelings, our attractions and compulsions, all contribute, not just our body parts. If my son had a crush on the star of iCarly, I doubt people would be saying he was too young to have those sexual feelings towards a girl. I think they would think it was an innocent schoolboy crush, which is exactly what it is.

Plus, for every comment I've read saying my son is too young, I have received multiple messages from adults saying "I knew when I was little, too."

It got me thinking and after awhile I started to feel like I knew this big secret that shouldn't be a secret at all: Every gay adult used to be a gay kid. It's not as if all children start off as straight until some time later when someone flips the gay switch. We are who we are from the very moment we are born.

The horrible and hate filled words of the Michele Bachmann's of the world take on a whole new level of disgusting when picturing them being screamed at a group of kindergartners and first graders. They are unnatural. They are sinners. They are going to hell. They are dirty, wrong and sick.

These people would tell my innocent little boy (who currently wants to be a fireman-ninja when he grows up) he is the biggest threat the American family... because he wants to kiss boys and not girls.

The reality is they are pounding these words of ignorance and hate into the ears and minds of gay children every day. And those children are hearing them. I know because many of those kids are now writing to me. Kids as young as 14 have sent me messages. So many are scared children, who sure as hell did not choose this for themselves, living in fear of their family finding out because they know full well what their mom and dad will say. And they tell me they wish I was their mom.

I want to keep all this talk, all these lies, all this hate, away from these kids. Of course, there is an inherent problem with that. We can't pick out the gay kids simply by looking, and behavior isn't a clear indicator (some little straight girls are tomboys, and some little gay boys love their monster trucks). The only way we can truly know someone's orientation is if they tell us, which for some doesn't happen until well into adulthood.

So the solution is obvious to me. Keep it away from all our kids. It's my responsibility as a mother, as a human being, to stand up and say "No more." No, you are not allowed to say those things in front of my children, not unless you want to deal with me. Because I will not allow any of my sons to be viciously attacked without seeing me defend them. They will never have to doubt for a second exactly where their parents stand, and never have to live in fear of who they are.

Because since August 16, I have learned that hate is the virus we all need to be worried about.

The Trevor Project is determined to end suicide among LGBTQ youth by providing life-saving and life-affirming resources including our nationwide, 24/7 crisis intervention lifeline, digital community and advocacy/educational programs that create a safe, supportive and positive environment for everyone. For more information or to talk to someone, visit their website or call 866-488-7386.

Follow Amelia on Twitter: www.twitter.com/Amelia_blogger

For information on FREE HIV Testing in Fresno please contact...

The Fresno County Department of Public Health - HIV/AIDS

Phone: (559) 600-3434 Fax: (559) 600-3370 Email: dph@co.fresno.ca.us Address: 1221 Fulton Mall Fresno, CA 93721

Although we are still second class citizens in the United States and threatened with measures as extreme as execution in some nations around the world, we did see some landmark changes to LGBT civil rights in the year 2011, along with some defeats. Here’s a recap of the major happenings in the United States…

Click on READ MORE at the bottom to read the rest of the timeline...

JANUARY 2011

In the Prop 8 case of Perry V. Schwarzenegger, two rulings made news. The first was that Imperial County did not have the standing to intervene in the case, while the second asked the California Supreme Court to rule as to whether the proponents of Prop 8 themselves had standing to appeal the case.

The 3^rd Court of Appeals in Austin, Texas ruled that the Attorney General did not have the right to intervene in a same sex divorce case. The result was that a Texas divorce granted to two women was legal, despite the fact that same sex marriage is not legal in Texas.

Ohio Governor John Kasich allowed an order prohibiting discrimination in state employment on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity to expire. A couple of weeks later he reinstated a law to prevent such discrimination but did not include protection for gender identity.

A Virginia court reversed an earlier decision and allowed one half of a lesbian couple to change her last name legally to that of her partner, despite same sex marriage being illegal in Virginia.

The United States Supreme Court rejected an appeal in the case of  Jackson v. The D.C. Board of Elections and Ethics. The appeal sought to overturn a new law in the District of Columbia which allows same sex marriage.

The US Dept of Housing & Urban Development proposed regulations to eliminate discrimination in housing based on sexual orientation and gender identity.

In Wyoming, the House passed a bill barring the state from recognizing legal same-sex marriages performed in other jurisdictions, a contradiction to previous Wyoming law. Only three days later the Wyoming Senate approved a resolution, that if voted affirmatively by citizens, would bar recognition of same sex marriage in the state. Wyoming is the state where Matthew Shepard was murdered in 1998 for being gay.

The Senate in Iowa rejected a voter initiative to amend the state constitution to ban same-sex marriage.

The Pentagon released training materials for the military to prepare for the repeal of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell.

The Gary Community School Corporation in Indiana approved anti-discrimination policies which include sexual orientation and gender identity.

Illinois approves civil unions for all citizens, regardless of gender.

Gay Central Valley opens the Fresno LGBT Community Center in Fresno, CA. It’s the first such center in Fresno in over 20 years. In September of the same year, they move to a larger space and expand to offer various social and health community groups.

Courtesy The Washington Post

Two women in the Navy made history on Wednesday by winning the privilege to give the “first kiss” after returning from a deployment. Here’s what it looked like:

For the gay community and the troops who were affected by Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, that image may become as iconic as this one:

CLICK ON "COMMENTS" BELOW TO SEE FULL SIZE POSTER

Lesbian/Bisexual Females Needed!!

$15.00 for Participation

Are you an adult female (lesbian/bisexual) who has been in an abusive same-sex relationship in the past or currently in one?

The study will involve the following:

• Interview: interview lasting 60 minutes with information remaining confidential.

• Location: Interview will be at a location of your choice, no need to travel.

• Time frame: Interviews will be conducted from December 19^th – January 30^th

• Compensation:  You will be compensated $15.00 as a gratitude for your participation with your choice of either Starbucks or Target gift card.

To Participate contact Elizabeth Salas at 559-816-7510 or 559-707-5880. Email at bitibit09@mail.fresnostate.edu

If you have any further questions about the study, please contact Dr. Martha Vungkhanching at

(559) 278-8741 or email marthavu@csufresno.edu

Unfortunately, a gremlin got to our mini fridge at the Fresno LGBT Community Center and it no longer works.  Do you or someone you know have a new or gently used small or mini fridge? We're also looking for a donation to help us cover the cost of a replacement.  The fridge allows us to offer free water to visitors and group attendees.

If you can help us out, please email jason@gaycentralvalley.org or write on our facebook wall.

Thank you and Happy Holidays!

The North Tower Circle and the Fresno DBO's are once again stepping into holiday action to help ALL ABOUT CARE .

More about the nonprofit organization All About Care...

All About Care provides practical, emotional, spiritual, and charitable support to people with terminal illness, especially those with HIV/AIDS. We provide information and referral for People with AIDS, their families, and caregiver.

All About Care offers client advocacy, referral for prescription drugs, and legal referrals, in addition to community outreach, education, and speakers. Because of HOPWA (Housing Opportunity for People with AIDS) funding, we are able to offer referral for short-term housing assistance and utility payments. Due to giving by friends of All About Care, we are able to offer food, nutritional support, and have established and sponsor support groups for:

• Women with HIV/AIDS,
• Children of parents with HIV/AIDS,
• Mothers of sons or daughters lost to or living with HIV/AIDS
• Spiritual support.

Additionally, All About Care offers individual counseling, bereavement counseling, phone support, and crisis counseling for women and children.

The North Tower Circle is collecting gift cards and cash donations to help this wonderful group ensure these adults and kids have a great holiday season. Please donate what you can to help. Simply drop off your gift cards or donations to James or Chris at the North Tower Circle by December 20th and we will deliver them to All About Care.

Gift cards are best from places like Target, Walmart, Walgreens or similar stores which offer a wide variety of goods and health services applicable to both adults and children.

The North Tower Circle is located at 2777 N Maroa Avenue in Fresno. Phone: 229-4188 after 7PM any day with questions. The club is open 7PM-2AM Mondays and Wednesdays through Sundays. You may also drop off donations at the Fresno LGBT Community Center Wednesday through Saturday from Noon - 5PM or call us at 559-325-4429 and we'll arrange to pick items up.

California's Prop 8 case is back in court today, December 8th. Here's what will be heard...

Release the Tapes

In the first hour, Ted Olson will argue that the public has a First Amendment right to see video footage of the historic Prop. 8 trial. The District Court has already ruled that the American people have a vested interest in transparent court proceedings, but the Prop. 8 Proponents appealed that decision. They are trying to keep the video under lock and key because they don’t want anyone to know that they failed in court, where reason and facts matter. Also arguing that the tapes should be released is an impressive media coalition comprised of the Associated Press, The New York Times, Los Angeles Times, FOX News, NBC News, the Hearst Corporation, Dow Jones & Co., and others.

Motion to Vacate

In the second hour, David Boies will address the Proponents’ offensive motion asking that our District Court victory be vacated because the judge who heard our case is gay and in a long-term relationship. The anti-marriage forces are trying everything they can to get the case thrown out because they know that reason and truth are on our side. This tactic was universally condemned in the media and it took only a day for Chief Judge James Ware to rule against the homophobic motion. We are confident that the appeals court will affirm that being gay has no bearing on a judge’s impartiality, just as courts have historically done with cases involving race, gender and religion.

Hearing to be Broadcast

The court is allowing a live audio broad cast on KQED, a delayed video broadcast on CSPAN and NBC San Diego and has set up remote viewing locations in Pasadena, Portland and Seattle. Everyone will be able to see first-hand the baseless arguments that the Prop. 8 Proponents use to conceal and distract from the real issue: denying gay and lesbian Americans the freedom to marry is unconstitutional.

Read More Here

You can imagine my shock when I learned yesterday that a person had been raped by a man in Visalia.  As the story goes, the two met on a social networking site and when the man got to the house he was asked to leave.  Upon refusing to leave, he pepper-sprayed his victim, bound their limbs and proceeded to rape them.  The media is covering this as a sexual assault, but let’s not kid ourselves, it was rape.  After he was done with his victim, he left with several electronic items and was later caught by the authorities.

As I’m sure you feel, this is an especially horrible crime and my heart goes out to the victim.  Would you feel different about the victim if I told you he was a man as well?  I don’t.  I still feel this is a crime of the most heinous nature.

As I read the community responses to the media stations Facebook posts of this story, I was horrified.  Some of the comments suggested that the victim deserved this, others that the rapist should be castrated or raped himself in prison by “Big Bubba”.  Some of the other comments were just plain in poor taste with such antics as “did he leave through the back door lol”.

I see quite a few problems here: 1) I don’t believe that the community response to the victim would have been consistent if the victim was a woman or a child; 2) The media, not once reached out to the LGBT or rape counseling community to make any statements regarding this; and 3) We learn through this that there is still a growing need and responsibility for social media outlets to caution their users of the risks involved and precautions one should take when accessing their technologies.  I will applaud the media for not making this a “gay” thing, but there has to be more done.

We as a society should be much more sensitive to victims of such crimes and also continue to rely and have faith in the judicial system to bring such perpetrators to justice.  As much as I would hate for the same thing to happen to anyone else and as much as rapists and violent sexual offenders piss me off, I don’t believe that calling for violence upon them is the right thing to do.

We have to call upon our leaders to be responsible to those they serve.  Our leaders must remain vigilant and continue to remind our community of the dangers and risks involved in social networks.  And we must be careful to be sensitive to victims of crimes like this.  As I said, it doesn’t matter what the circumstance or what genders are involved, rape is rape and no one should ever be subject to such a horrible crime.

This is the man arrested for assault and burglary in Visalia. It's believed he's involved in more such crimes, where he preyed on people using social media tools.

Police are asking for anyone else who may have been a victim to come forward.

Courtesy The Fresno Bee...

Alvarez is being held at the Tulare County jail on $150,000 bail.

Police believe this is not the first time Alvarez preyed on victims via social media and are asking anyone with information about the incident or similar incidents to call the Visalia Police Department Violent Crimes Unit at (559) 713-4234.

Earlier today I reached out to Grindr.com about the Visalia incident and they have graciously provided the following statement...

We at Grindr are extremely saddened to hear about the victim in Visalia, California. Although arrested for an unrelated crime, a suspect has been apprehended. Grindr takes the safety of its users very seriously and as such, we have a number safeguards in place, including our strict photo and profile content guidelines, privacy policy, detailed user agreements, terms of service and safety tips which can be found on our website. We encourage our members to utilize the safety mechanisms we’ve made available. Our thoughts and prayers are with the victim and his family.

A local man, in Visalia, has been brutally assaulted and raped by a contact he made through the social application GRINDR. Read more here...

While there have been many comments supporting the victim and the LGBT community in general, there has also been a string of negative statements on various social media sites regarding this crime. These negative comments generally suggest that a gay man searching for contact through such an application “deserved what he got”, or that rape of a man by another man is insignificant, even dismissive.

Rape is rape, regardless of the gender or sexuality of the victim. Rape is a violent crime, no matter who it is carried out against, and should never be dismissed because the circumstances don’t meet traditional criteria. There is absolutely no reason to view this crime as any less significant simply because it occurred between two men. Going further, to categorize the seriousness of this brutal crime based on anyone’s sexuality is even more demeaning. And to suggest that anyone deserves to be brutalized regardless of the manner in which they reach out for contact is simply and wrong. No one deserves to be a victim of a violent crime.

We have to remember, particularly given the recent environment of bullying and sexual abuse, that it is vital to support the victims of violent crimes, not to demonize them based on perceived traditional social stereotypes. Often, many of these crimes go unreported simply because the public and media tend to suggest the victim is in some way, to blame.

Grindr is an application marketed toward men who are seeking out male contacts, but the same company also provides Blendr, a similar application targeted at the heterosexual and female community. These are only 2 of the many, many applications which are out there to connect people from various communities, genders and sexualities.

While we do not endorse any particular social media, we urge all those using social applications to make contact with others to do so in as safe a way as possible. Meeting in a public place is just one of the ways to protect yourself. Caution should be exercised in all meetings, dates and similar social situations.

If you have a story you’d like to share, or advice to others on how to protect themselves please feel free to post a comment or contact Chris Jarvis at chris@gaycentralvalley.org

Courtesy KSEE 24

A Visalia man has been arrested for allegedly raping a man he met on a social networking application.

The application is an all-male mobile network tool that uses GPS technology for people to find each other. Police believe the suspect may have used this tool to commit similar crimes in the past. They are now asking people who may have been one of his victims to come forward.

READ MORE HERE

Macy’s has stepped up its game in protecting the rights of all of its customers. An employee at a San Antonio, Texas store was fired for refusing to allow a transgender customer to enter the female dressing rooms.

A few days after Thanksgiving, Natalie Johnson refused to let a transgender woman, who she described as a man in makeup and woman’s clothes, use the woman’s fitting rooms.

The woman, who’d been instructed by store officials to allow transgender customers to use the dressing room of their choice, claims she refused to do so because of her religious beliefs. This is the same nonsense a couple of New York employees used when they left their county clerk positions after same sex marriage was legalized in the state.

Now, the Liberty Council, an organization dedicated to defending religious freedom, has taken on the case.  It’s yet another example of the recent trend with employees believing their religious beliefs trump company policy. Time to look for work somewhere else…

A statement from Macy’s included…

“At Macy’s we recognize and appreciate the diversity of our customers and associates.”

READ MORE HERE...

Don't miss listening to this speech. I know it's easy to see so much on the internet on a daily basis and when a video seems long, as this one does, it's easy to run away. Don't. Take some time and listen to what Hillary is saying about our community, particularly as it's reflected against the general human rights acts of the past. You won't be sorry...

You go girl...

On Friday, December 2, 2011, United Student Pride & Associated Student Inc. Of Fresno State hosted a Masquerade Benefit for HIV / AIDS Awareness at the Satellite Student Union at Fresno State. The event was to bring awareness to HIV / AIDS issues. Proceeds from the event will be donated to a local HIV / AIDS organization.

Photo Gallery...PHOTOS COURTESY NIGEL MEDHURST

The Harvey Milk Project is accepting applications for the inaugural “Harvey Milk Hope Award” of $2,000 to be presented in 2012-13 to a Fresno State junior or senior enrolled in the Humanics Certificate Program (community benefit administration/non-profit organization management).

Online application:www.csufresno.edu/scholarships/index.shtml
Due: Feb. 28, 2012

YOU GOTTA GIVE ‘EM HOPE!
www.theharveymilkproject.org

Donations welcome. Online @

www.bulldogpride.org