Gay Fresno - Opinion

Advice: Pink In The Sheets

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Created on Tuesday, 14 May 2013 18:24

Published on Tuesday, 14 May 2013 18:24

Written by Mz. Pink

Mz. Pink,

I have wanted to explore the world of strap-on sex, but I have been too afraid. I tried it once and the strap was uncomfortable, awkward and the whole experience was nerve-wracking and a little painful. I feel like this is my time to shine with a strap- on, being a young stud, but I just haven’t found what works. Should I use lube? Are there strapless strap-on s? Is bigger better with a dildo? I need to know the ins and outs (so as to speak), can you help?

Straps Needed

Read my answer by clicking read more ------------------->

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Pecs and the City

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Created on Sunday, 12 May 2013 14:58

Published on Sunday, 12 May 2013 14:58

Written by Matt Ponder

In the age we live in, every flaw and misstep is recorded on film or video, then spilled like red ink over the Internet and discussed ad nauseam until even the photographic evidence comes into question.

Whether it's a grainy, night-vision sex tape, a DUI mug shot or a fashion blunder that results in exposing more than the proper amount of skin, the culture of celebrity has shown us that committing a public mistake or having a bad reputation makes for a compelling read and good television. Just because average people don't have their infelicities splashed all over TMZ doesn’t mean that the rumors which breed a bad reputation won't spread like wildfire. And just like the gossip and stories that crowd the pages of tabloids, some of these incidents are self-created. The question is: how much of our reputation is truly who we are?

As our lives unfold, our personas reveal themselves. These are the aspects of our character that the public perceives as who we are. The word “persona” itself comes from the Latin word for mask; therefore indicating that what people see isn't always what they get. The bookish nerd. The dim gym rat. The hilarious drunk. The pretty boy heartbreak- er.

These and other facades have a basis in who and what we truly are, but they are built by you to give you an identity so you can find your niche. No one wants to fade into the background, so we embellish and act out and decide who or what we want to be by the actions that we take.

So why do we create reputations that don’t reflect our true nature? Is it because our reputation is who we truly want to be? Or is it because it will mask who we really are? Is it armor to hide behind? Or is it a fictional magnet that we feel will draw in the people we really want to be with?

A bad reputation may scare off the people you're afraid of but if someone is really interested in you, they will look past your reputation and uncover the real person inside. The same goes for someone who catches your eye — believing the hype surrounding someone that you like may prevent you from realizing their true nature. Why judge someone by the mistakes they've made? Would you want someone to judge you because of a story they heard on the street from an unreliable source?

Every reputation is the surface of deeper waters below. The reputation that someone gets because they date and screw a lot of people may be indicative of someone searching for true love. The reputation of someone who drinks himself blind or numbs himself into a narcotic haze may not be because they're an out-of-control party animal but someone who’s been wounded so deeply he can’t face reality without altering his feelings. Perception is not always reality.

There are also the reputations built by people to make themselves seem more interesting or to hide their pasts. People who have been around and around and around may reinvent themselves somewhere new as bright-eyed innocents to erase the stigma that comes with someone who has a slutty reputation.

Inexperienced virgins paint themselves as sexually provocative because they are scared to experiment and explore on their own or are certain no one wants to take the time to train a novice. There are even people out there who dumb themselves down because they are certain that brains are not a commodity in the dating world where sometimes a pretty face and a rock-solid body are all the currency one needs to get by.

Now a good reputation is never a bad thing, but sometimes it can be perceived as boring and the yearning for popularity will cause good people to do bad things.

People often wonder: how good is a good reputation? Its common knowledge reading a story about a whore will be much more interesting than reading a story about a nun. Doing something that goes against your values may elevate your image as a bad boy, but is that the image you want? Some people look at a bad boy as a turn-on or a project while others stay away like its poison — therefore cementing the fact that people's perception can alter how they treat you whether what they believe is really the truth.

No matter what your persona is, however, if you've got a great reputation that's taken years to build, it can take seconds for it to come crumbling down. Years of good deeds mean nothing when one bad deed or poor decision can erase everything that’s come before.

Even though there are reputations that we earn from our actions, and reputations that we build ourselves, there are times when someone’s reputation fits exactly who they are.

I’ve learned this plenty of times when I’ve heard stories about guys who were liars and cheats, drug addicts and players — even a story about a hidden fiancée. All these stories were factual but I gave each of these guys the benefit of the doubt even though it came back to bite me later.

Why did I do this when I was obviously warned away? Because we never know how much of someone's back story and reputation is actually true unless we find out for ourselves. Angry ex-boyfriends, jealous rivals and giggling gossips embellish and dramatize people's actions until truth and fiction become one.

I gave these men the chance to prove that what I heard was merely rumor because I would expect anyone to do the same thing for me. Are the things that people say about me — or anyone, for that matter — true? Maybe. But until someone takes the time to find out, it’s all hearsay.

Some people believe your reputation is merely your character minus what you've been caught doing. I believe that your reputation, good or bad, is merely the line between who you are and who you want to be. And every day we make the decision on how far over that line we want to step. The people who really want to know you will discard all the toxic words that cling to your name — and those are the people you yourself should want to know.

As far as trying to shake a bad reputation, I always go by this motto: It's better to be talked about than not talked about at all.

Hackin’ The Net

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Created on Monday, 13 May 2013 16:05

Published on Monday, 13 May 2013 16:05

Written by Ted Fleischaker

King Camp Gillette died in 1932. The firm he started began in 1901. If you are like most folks, you've never heard of this self-made entrepreneur, but if you own a computer, then a business practice he pioneered is costing you.

Gillette (that's an early pack of his blades below which you can buy from www.ruby- lane.com s site) started a company which virtually gave away the handles for safety razors (that's right, Gillette Razors, still alive and well today as a unit of Cincinnati's Procter & Gamble) while he made his money on cheap, but easily-dulled blades — blades which only lasted a day or three under harsh shaving conditions and thus needed to be bought and bought and bought for that free handle to be of any use.

It's the same game computer users are playing now when we get a cheap or even "free" printer when we buy that Mac or pc. Why? Because like Gillette the big printer manufacturing firms (think HP, Canon and Epson for just three "biggies" though there are others) know that if you use their printer, you also will need their ink...and they are playing a myriad of games to make sure you use it — often at a cost that's higher per ounce than French Champagne! Read that again, because it's sadly true.

There are a variety of ploys and come-ons to get you (and I) to pay that inflated price, too. One is filling those "starter" cartridges which come with your printer "free" with so little ink that you'll only get 20 or 30 copies before you'll have to hustle out to the office supply for more "genuine" (fill in name of brand here) ink.

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Hackin’ The Net

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Created on Monday, 15 April 2013 14:21

Published on Monday, 15 April 2013 14:21

Written by Ted Fleischaker

Time for a few questions from the mailbox...and probably the biggest one to arrive from multiple sources lately is actually a repeat of a golden oldie: Do I buy that new (fill it in: computer/iPad/phone/laptop/music player) now or do I wait for the next one to come out?

And despite the playing field changing a lot since I last covered this, my reply has not changed much: buy the device you want when you can afford it and be 100% aware that about the time you get the box open they will come out with a new "latest/greatest" which will make you unhappy you did not wait.

You might be looking at my reply and laughing, but I am totally serious: There will always be something new either out, coming out soon or "in the works." The problem is you can't talk on, surf with or listen to a wudda, cudda or shudda — you need to have that player, computer, iPad or other tablet in hand — and for that you have to make a commitment.
I know what I am saying is not kind and gentle reassurance because the only thing you can be sure of is that someone, somewhere will be out with something newer, faster and better tomorrow. So that said what can you do?

First, be an aware consumer of electronics. Do some research online, in books and magazines or by asking friends. If you want a pc and all your friends are on Macs that might be a message in itself. If you have an iPhone, want a new one and all your friends love their Droids they got for half the price, that, too might be a message.

Also see what device fits. You'd not just walk into a shoe store, point to a pair and buy the sample would you? At the very least you'd ask a clerk for correct sizing then put them on and walk around on the stores carpets a bit. And the same applies here.

Visit Best Buy, the nearest Apple Store or other retailer (everyplace from Target to Kmart and Costco sell phones, pads and computers nowadays) and try out what you are considering buying. And kick the tires, too. If they don't have a demo out to touch, that alone is worth questioning.

And if you really want to go for a ride, ask a friend with that device if you can come over (take him to dinner after or bring a bottle of wine — it's just polite) and play with their laptop, desktop or iPad for an hour or two. See if it will do your spreadsheets, play your music with decent fidelity, stream your movies and Netflix and if it will connect to the internet and stay connected.

And ask the friend whose device it is if they'd buy one again. That will tell you way more than any reviews, magazines or store displays ever can. If they say yes, ask why and if they say no ask why, too. Remember that not everyone uses the same device the same way for the same purposes so if they tell you their partner doesn't like the sound quality but all he listens to is screaming rock turned up so loud that it distorts, don't take that for a final answer until you play your jazz or classical music at the level you like.

Also read a bit to be an informed buyer. Go see what the pundits have to say about a replacement for what you are about to buy. Is there a strong rumor that a new pc, pad, phone or gadget is about to be released? If so, what will it do or have that the one you could walk in and buy today can't?

We no sooner got used to our latest iPad than Apple came out with a newer, faster one. Do we regret buying when we did? Not at all as trying one of the newer ones we found the changes were barely noticeable for us who read newspapers on Pressdisplays app, magazines on Zinio's app, play Words With Friends and enjoy a spot of internet radio. Maybe if we were using the iPad for other things we'd feel differently, but for us the one we got almost a year ago (the first with retina display) is not only just fine, but still great. Remember those shoes — it's all about fit and chances are what fits your needs just fine today will still be pretty much perfect in a year or two.

Also, and finally on this topic, go into a new purchase looking at a life span. From past experience, we know that GUI's for a computer is about 4-6 years. For our iPhone, two years till we get a new subsidized replacement from our carrier. I'm on my 3rd iPad but only my 2nd laptop as I rarely even use my laptop which dates from 1999. It all depends what you personally need, want and use the device for and how often.

Our second question is closely related to the first and that's the calls we get asking about extras. "Should I buy personal training on my iPad?" and "Do I want AppleCare, Geek Squad or the pc equal?''

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